The Devil's Fruit

When I was seven my father tried to make me eat a tomato. It was the first time we had a real fight: He was all sternly adamant that I would not defy him by refusing to eat it and I was all hurt and physically gagging at having to eat the insidiously gooey mess.

I hate tomatoes; they are the Devil’s fruit. Indeed, there is nothing in the bible that actually indicates that the fruit proffered to Adam by Eve was an apple. That was probably just the interpretation of the biblical text by 15th and 16th Century European artists and I believe it was really the eating of a tomato that precipitated the fall of man. Only the blinding temptation of naked totty could get a man to do something so vile as eat a tomato and, in the same vein, you clearly can not make children eat something they do not want to. I resolved never to make my own children eat food they did not like.

Thirty year’s later with three sons, however, the issue of getting children to eat is less certain. My four year old can be very fussy and often refuses to eat either because he does not like the food he is offered or he is not hungry. You’d think the simple answer is to offer him food he likes and accept that he will eat when he is hungry but he often declares he does not like food that he has previously wolfed down and, having declined to eat because he’s not hungry, he will then cry because he’s hungry and wants a peanut butter sarnie.

We’ve tried allsorts of methods. We have banned eating snacks between meals, if they don’t eat supper they are denied a pre-bedtime snack, counting spoons of food (that worked well for a while), and offering rewards. Nothing is foolproof but everything has some guilt attached as to whether they are eating enough if they are denied snacks and whether I have become Victorian Dad from Viz comic. Some things do have a positive effect. Eating together as a family group seems to make the boys feel involved, I always insist they say thank you for their food (even if they did not eat any), and eating food from each other’s plates have all encouraged better eating.

After many stressful mealtimes I have conceded the truth of my own childhood; you can not force children to eat and giving ultimatums and sitting at the table for hours looking at cold food just alienates them and makes mealtimes a dreaded occurrence. We have followed the advice that after 30 minutes children are unlikely to eat more and forcing the issue is counter productive. I have found compromise between the “no snacking” rule and “eating enough” issue by allowing fruit or raw veg.

Now, I see it like this: My father also tried to make me eat sprouts and they are the Devil’s testicles.