Until recently, debates with my 4 year old had focussed on things like how Santa Claus visits everyone, why Teddy is a real friend even though he is not a real bear and why football is pointless. However, last night I got tangled up in a discussion about "reason" and if something does not have a "reason" it does not need to happen. He had been falling asleep during our book reading so I suggested he get into bed whilst I finished the story for his younger brother. "No!" he stropped in a manner so abrupt that it could not be ignored so I made him get into bed because he had been rude. He went into full tantrum meltdown. I managed to persuade him that he should apologise for being rude and come finish the story.
As I was making up a story after lights out, I said that the pirate captain shouted at his men to be quiet, prompting a debate as to whether it was reasonable for the captain to shout in that way. My son's simple logic quickly overwhelmed me and I only managed to make the point by stressing that the pirate captain wanted his men to be quiet so that they did not alert the people they were about to nick the treasure from!
I just about held the moral high ground but it left me wondering if, when perspectives such as "get into bed because you are tired" or "you don't want to be tired at school tomorrow" have not had the desired effect, it is acceptable to say "because I told you so". It is clearly a last resort but, ultimately, children need to follow reasonable direction even if they don't agree to it. Don't they?
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